April 2010

Motherhood is a tightrope that I walk everyday...

Author: Mary Frances Lowrey

I saw something today that struck me. A bumper sticker that read: My Kid is not an A student but the nicest kid I know. Wow. To me that speaks volumes. Would I want my kid to succeed in grades but fail in friendships? What good is it if you have a child who is cerebral yet socially unfit? Is it horrible if I want both for my kids? Do I have to give up one focus for another?

Motherhood is a tightrope that I walk everyday. Today it was the FUN Run at school. My son asked me to sponsor him in the school fundraiser race. The sponsor pays the child an amount of money per lap he/she runs. My son wants to win an IPOD Shuffle and you can win this item if you can get some moron to sponsor you for $25 a lap. Well, last year my son ran 35 laps.

He knows how I think.

So, automatically he said, “Mom, if you sponsor me the $25 per lap I will be given an IPOD shuffle tomorrow at school in front of every one at the pep rally and then I will only run 1 lap so you will only have to pay $25.” To me I felt like that was deceitful and very troubling. My son had figured a way around the system to get something he wanted. He was willing to cheat in order to gain a prize. Some people might think that it showed smarts. I thought it showed weak character. Harsh words for a mom to say about her own child. But the truth hurts sometimes and the truth is I am his mother and he learns short cuts from his parents…and I am one of them. I responded in a d high octane, screechy lecturing voice and said nagging things. And he probably only heard screechy, nagging, lecturing and did not hear the sadness in my heart.

Have I taught him how to take short cuts? Truthfully, I probably have taught him a lot of wrong things. But I know I have also taught him a lot of right things. And the first thing I am going to do tonight when I tuck him in is change my tone and ask him if he thinks that his plan for the IPOD shuffle is a good one. I think that if I am calm and kind in my heart and demonstrate it through my voice and actions then I can teach him to discover the right thing to do.

I want to know that I too can put that bumper sticker on my car (But of course I will have to cross out the word NOT)! Hey, I am still a mom and we brag on our kids when we get the chance!

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