July 2009

The Real Housewives of Beaufort

Author: Mary Frances

I admit it. I am a Bravo TV junkie. I cannot get enough of the REAL Housewives from any city…Atlanta, Orange County, NY, even the newest New Jersey. I have stayed up late one night a week for a few years now to watch this trash. It is literally like watching a car crash in slow motion. And heaven forbid what happens in my house when there is a marathon of Housewives on a Saturday or Sunday. I actually find things to do in front of my television to watch these crazy women all day long…and I have already seen the episodes. It is a marathon of reruns. I have many vices and I know this is one of them but I just can not seem to make myself stop. What is it about these women that I am drawn to watch? Is it their clothes? Their big hair and big jewelry or is it their BIG boobs that are so large that no one can find clothing to cover their cleavage? Each season I have favorites that I love to hate and favorites that I secretly cheer on. I have even found myself perusing their website and their blog postings to find out the real back story. I almost broke down and posted a blog to express my opinion to one of the ladies in Orange County. Quickly, I realized that I would then be considered one of the crazy stalker people or have crossed the line of watching television to actually believing television and trying to participate in it. Thank goodness I was able to come to my senses.

Then I started thinking about the real housewives of Bluffton or Beaufort or even Hilton Head. Are we backstabbing divas who spend hours in salons and thousands on Botox? Could any of us be considered as entertaining and exciting as these women? I would like to think sure why not! I know a few women, no names mentioned of course, who have had their Botox parties and fake purse parties. I even have a little brown clutch that says Kate Spade on the label but I bought it in a Hilton Head living room about 10 years ago. I have heard about some local ladies who have a colorful past but I do not know any of them to be in books with their mug shot in it. I even know of a lot of local ladies who have new bubbies, aka boobies, but they do not wear them out in their 10 year old daughter’s micro mini tube top. Do you think Bravo TV producers buy their wardrobe and make them wear those tiny tops? If you got flaunt them right?

So I was wondering, what makes these women REAL housewives? Why am I drawn to people that I have nothing in common with? The truth is I have lots in common with them. I am a housewife. I wake up and feed kids, let out the dog, feed the cat and I drink coffee. I want to look good just like the housewives on Bravo want to look good. However, I don’t have a makeup crew. Somedays I need one though. I have big bubbies. However, mine are real and I try to hide them every chance I get. According to Jill on NY Housewives, who also has real big bubbies, if they are real you tend to down play them and if they are purchased you put them out there with a plastic surgeons business card tucked into the cleavage. Now I understand why the need for the huge cleavage crack up front, it is really a human business card holder! Now that makes sense! Yet, I digress. How else are they REAL housewives? They argue with each other and get their feelings hurt. We do that, too. The small difference is we don’t usually say exactly what we are thinking unless you are like one of my Bluffton Housewife friend who can actually get away with saying whatever she thinks. And we love her for it.

Something else we have in common are charities. The Hilton Head, Bluffton and Beaufort housewives start charities to help each other through crisis. Many beautiful events have been born in our community because one of our children was diagnosed with some illness, or we buried a mother who was far too young to die, or we raised money because someone we know or knew about had experienced a terrible tragedy. In that regard we are like the Bravo housewives because when the chips are down we get busy.

We also are mothers like the REAL Bravo housewives. Now the REAL Bravo housewives have kids who ride horses, model, act in movies, play minor league baseball, go to fashion shows in NY, vacation in fabulous places and sass their parents. We have kids who ride horses, play golf, model, act, play baseball (which might as well be the majors depending on how serious their coach takes it! Oh, such a different article), vacation in fabulous places and sass their parents. We compare the way we parent to the way our friends parent. So do the Bravo housewives. We want our kids to achieve success in all that they do. So do the Bravo housewives. Our children might not be in the spotlight on television but our kids are a lot like their kids. I would not want my kids to be like all of their kids but there are a few good eggs in the cast. However, on a side note, this housewife would never buy the parenting book written by the red hot pants wearing father and the Wanna Be On Page 6 mother from NY. Their kids just seem strange.

I like these women not because they represent who I want to be like. I like these women because I do see some of myself and my friends in them. Sometimes I see women being ugly to each other and other times women who are real friends. I see a group of ladies who make me laugh at my own insecurities. I see crazy women who wear awesome clothes or tacky outfits. I see woman who need their friends. And I see women who love being loved by their husbands and children. I see women who try to make it look good on the outside but on the inside they are just as much a mess as me. You can dress us up and put the human plastic surgeon business card holder out front and film us at our best or our worst and bottom line is we are more alike than we would want to admit. We could have a pretty fabulous show filmed right here. So, Stay tuned…The REAL Housewives of Beaufort County on Bravo!

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