August 2008

Editor’s Note: August 2008

Author: Maggie Washo | Photographer: Photography by anne

Remember the scene in Mary Poppins where Jane and Michael Banks “help” Mr. Banks place an advertisement (“advertisement” pronounced the charming English way, of course) in the newspaper for a new nanny? I love that scene, I love that movie and I love that song.

The Perfect Nanny
By Karen Dotrice

If you want this choice position
Have a cheery disposition
Rosy cheeks, no warts
Play games, all sorts

You must be kind, you must be witty
Very sweet and fairly pretty
Take us on outings, give us treats
Sing songs, bring sweets

Never be cross or cruel
Never give us castor oil or gruel
Love us as a son and daughter
And never smell of barley water

If you won’t scold and dominate us
We will never give you cause to hate us
We won’t hide your spectacles so you can’t see
Put toads in your bed or pepper in your tea

Hurry, Nanny
Many thanks sincerely,

Jane and Michael Banks

With the onset of all of our Bachelor of the Year hoopla, I found myself thinking about what song I could write to put an advertisement out for the perfect bachelor—for me. A lot of it applies, whether looking for a nanny or a boyfriend… I only made a few slight adjustments…best when sung to the tune of “The Perfect Nanny”…

The Perfect Bachelor
By Maggie Washo

If you want this choice position
Have a cheery disposition
Rosy cheeks, no warts (sure, why not?)
Play games, all sorts (but especially Yahtzee and Trivial Pursuit)

You must be kind, you must be witty
Mostly hot and under fifty
Take me on outings, give me treats
Sing songs, be sweet!

Never be cross or cruel
Don’t show off just to act cool
Take me fishing every day
And do most everything I say.
(hey it’s my song after all)

If you won’t scold and dominate me
I will never give you cause to hate me
I won’t tell your mom that you are still a slob
If you don’t tell your mom I have family in the mob

Hurry Bachelor
Many thanks sincerely,

Maggie Washo

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