March 2008

Dr. Q. Pidd: How to Flirt with a Woman

Author: Dr. Q. Pidd

Last month we looked at reading a woman’s body language to determine if she is open to being approached. This month we’ll cover how men can flirt with women to get the best results. Once you’ve mastered the art of reading a woman’s body language, there are other important steps you can take to flirt like a pro.

Men have a different set of challenges when it comes to flirting. You can’t just sit and wait for women to come to you. You’ll have to approach the woman, which means, of course, there’s a chance for rejection. Don’t sweat it. Most flirting is just harmless fun. In other words, don’t go making wedding plans because some woman flirts with you and don’t roll into the fetal position if she doesn’t respond to your advances.

The following guidelines should help any rookie become a pro in no time. Most of the following is common sense. If you are looking for a magic bullet, you’ll have to buy my book: Black Belt Flirting. I’m kidding. Hopefully, my guide will help our male readers avoid the pitfalls and mistakes that other men make when trying to flirt with women.

Like the paper airplane guy in the bar. Hint: when you’re in your favorite watering hole and you see a woman you’d like to flirt with, do not toss a paper airplane at her head with your name and phone number on it. There’s a time and place for props and we’ll cover them in the near future. Me? I like to use the personalized fortune cookie with my name and number inside.

Here are the top ways men can improve their flirting skills.

1) Flirting is not appropriate everywhere. No one wants to get hit on at a funeral. You have to flirt at the appropriate time and place. I also don’t recommend flirting at the office. There’s just too much room for drama. If you happen to find yourself flirting with that cute redhead at work, remember to be a gentleman at all times and be able to walk away if the lady is not interested. Your workplace can be good place to practice flirting skills, provided you can keep things light and friendly.

2) You should have a genuine smile on your face. You also have to have a certain devilish twinkle in your eyes when you’re interacting with women. Notice I said “twinkle.” Too many cats watch some old footage of Rudolph Valentino and try to imitate his famous stare. You have to be a full-fledged Jedi master to pull that off, and as a rookie you could sprain an eye socket and injure yourself. Women don’t generally flirt with dudes wearing an eye patch—unless he’s a pirate. If you want to see a true modern master of the twinkle at work, watch Ocean’s Eleven and pay attention to George Clooney.

3) Initiate a light conversation—you know, small talk. If she responds pleasantly, continue the conversation. Remember to pay attention to what she says. Being a good listener and getting a woman to talk about herself is an art form. Many women will melt into the arms of a good listener who also knows how to flirt. If she doesn’t respond, seems preoccupied or motions for her boyfriend, the burly bouncer, she probably isn’t interested in flirting.

4) Offer the lady your company, and walk away. Before you leave, give her your phone number or offer to meet up at Starbucks for coffee and let her know that if she chooses not to take you up on your offer, you’ll never bother her again. Make your offer and beat it. Women love intrigue. Give her imagination a chance to go to work. Odds are she will call you to have coffee if only to satisfy her curiosity.

This is an abbreviated list, as flirting styles for men can be a deep subject. Maybe you want to use the Seinfeld style of flirting. Women love men who can make them laugh, you know. Or maybe you’re a fan of James Bond’s style—timeless and elegant with just dash of devilishness. Should you roll like a rock star or like a concert pianist? Whatever your chosen style, remember to have fun while flirting.

In the coming months we’ll explore the world of dating and male/female relationships and see if we can dispense more helpful common sense and real world advice.

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